When is it time to retire from Rugby?

I feel like I have been hit by a truck… Rephrase that, I feel like I have been run over by two trucks. Today I woke up for the fifth time with a broken cheek. (Zygoma or Zygomatic arch). Technically it has been fixed under general anesthetic. My mouth is where they gained access to fix my cheek. The taste of dry blood is in my mouth, my lip is massive and my cheek is yellow instead of having a natural pinkish glow. My teeth ache like I have been to the dentist and my throat, well it feels like I smoked a full packet of cigarettes and been drinking whisky all night. 

You are a long time retired they say

After the second broken cheek or the fifth? Or was I supposed to retire after the ACL reconstruction? Some of us have shifted gears from professional rugby to pursue other professional aspirations but are still involved as a players and coaches at the amateur level. Friends continue to play professionally with broken bodies out of the fear of what to do next. When do the injuries outweigh the love and enjoyment you get from the game?

We have all experienced a relative in the garden or mowing the lawns having to finish up due to the pain in their back, hip or knee. Watching them grimace in pain is something we associate with aging yet when our family members are in their early forties you wonder what punishment the game has put on them. I wonder what each injury over our careers has really done to our bodies.

Flirting With A Return To Rugby

After retirement from the professional game I still flirt with the idea of making a return. My confidence in my own game has never left me and I still believe in my ability to play at a decent level. The dream of representing our country never really dies. As Rugby players we apply ourselves to our dreams and work at it day in day out. It’s something about running out in front of appreciative fans and absorbing a very special type of energy.

Bringing myself right back into the present is my cheek. I wonder if the nurse can get me a chocolate milkshake as that will take the edge off the metallic taste in my mouth.

The Great Thing

The great thing about being involved in a professional environment is that everyone is focused and working together on a common goal. Time schedules are shared and hard work is done together. We have training KPIs, playing KPIs and there is a level of brutal honesty that propels the team as a collective forward. A well oiled machine or as we called it at the bay “The Steam Team”.

We all know our careers are limited and some are luckier than others. I bet all those that have retired miss the team banter, the in house jokes, the pranks, the nicknames, the nights out and the try celebrations.

BOP’s Nick McCashin in action. ITM Cup rugby union match, Counties Manukau v Bay of Plenty at ECOLight Stadium, Pukekohe, New Zealand. Friday 7th September 2012. Photo: Anthony Au-Yeung / photosport.co.nz

We miss the game that has a great atmosphere, the build up to the game, the music over the loudspeaker and the crowd. Missing the interaction with our excited sponsors. What about the preparation, the training and the journey to which has got us to the professional game? Playing in the moment and playing without thinking. Think it is called achieving the sense of flow or being in the zone.

I miss post match beers

We miss the postseason blow out and mad Mondays. Oh to the days when we once could do an all week drinking session. Before this old boy grew up a bit, got tired, bad hangovers and now has someone to report to, my wife and son.

Post Match With The Old Man

Just like every other player that enjoys the game or misses the game, we look at options to keep us involved. We look into or dabble with the idea of coaching or strength and conditioning.  Many of us have done our level two coaching. However personally, coaching reminds me of the things I disliked about the game. For example, chasing the winter around the globe, the lack of certainty when it comes to contracts. At least as a coach you can not get rid of due to injury.

What type of coach would we be? 

When thinking about the type of coach we might be a lot of questions srping to mind. Will we be considered a class coach? Will we understand the game, team environment, player management, player feedback, adapt to changes and get the results. Or will we become a results driven coach only. Will we be able to effectively communicate what we want. Will we spend countless hours watching video and let coaching consume my life. Will I be a good enough coach to get players to buy into my coaching philosophies?

The professional and semi professional coaching environment is highly competitive and has a level of uncertainty just like playing. Shoddy results and you are given the boot. Shoddy man management and the senior players can influence the boot. Maybe following the summer and learning something new over the weekend is a more attractive offering, rather than the weekend being once again consumed by Rugby. I really don’t know yet as I still hang in there.

Even after retirement we still love Rugby as a game.

There is still enjoyment at amateur level and nothing replaces that fact you can physically put a big hit someone (legally). Perhaps now as a veteran of the game we have a role of passing on our knowledge in kicking goals, skills and controlling games.  Soon the pain on Sunday will soon be outweighed by the pleasure gained from an easy Sunday breakfast with friends by the beach in the summer sun or in my case spending time with my son and his many diggers.

Rugby is a funny game that consumes our life, energy and body. The thought of leaving the game without a return in sight keeps this old boy motivated to continue. Maybe I fear losing something of myself. For so long I have defined myself as Rugby player. When in reality I was just lucky enough to have Rugby as my job. With change, there is now a unique opportunity to contribute much more in other areas of life.

Some of us have lost our ability to create, focus and achieve new dreams. Professional rugby is just one of the limitless dreams we can create. There is a limitless opportunity, life experiences and new challenges that await us. 

Lets just hope the old rig holds up in the pursuit of my new dreams

For original see the Ruck Science website